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8/5/13

Oregon

I intentionally didn't bring my laptop on this trip, and so today is actually the first time I've sat down in front of a real computer. it's been fun catching up on all of your blogs tonight.

tonight i'm in Eugene, and the air is perfect and summery. it's dark but warm and the air holds that perfect promise of past and future. this is the brief moment where we feel the thread that connects it all to the present: the warm nights, the bright stars, the cicadas, the tomatoes, the satiated hush of nightfall; these are signs of summer. but it is this shimmering edge, the moment where we feel summer and feel the things to come and remember the things that were - this is August. August is the fine line between it all. the heart of summer; the very depths before we rise into fall. this moment must be cherished, the delicate between-season season where we can almost smell fall (but not quite) and it is precisely this faint premonition that triggers the memories. at the same time, we can absolutely smell summer, and is is this immersion in the heat and the fruit that reminds us of now, of today, of all the summer days we've lived.



Also, I've been thinking a lot about love. Though I may have already posted this quote (Tom Robbins) recently, it deserves another post because i have been thinking about it:

Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.

At first when I found this quote, I didn't think twice about it. I love you for free. Of course!

today i was thinking, though, how many people straight up refuse love that is offered because they are afraid there are strings attached. keep your love to yourself. what is up with that? is it because there is a lot of love in the world that has strings attached? or is it an unfounded fear? truly, i'm wondering. what are your thoughts on the matter?

are you able to love without attaching strings? can you give the gift? or is it hard?

xx

loving you (string-free) from Oregon. i'm so glad we're here. 


13 comments:

  1. Hi! I think loving freely is the ultimate form of love, but a lot of the time loving feelings get mixed up with longing for security and thereby possesiveness.. I think there aren't a lot of people who can love freely and who do, can expect suspiciousness. But it is the true form of love, in my opnion... so keep on loving for free.. I will do the same :) Beautiful post.

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    1. So true, norah. Security is such an interesting player when it comes to love. Xo

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  2. the good buy to may last love was:
    you can't make me stop loving you but you can make me not want to be with you
    bon voyage

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  3. Hi Sadie, I meant to comment here when you originally posted, but something got in the way...probably my kids or husband or somethin. I think we can learn to love freely....when I started out in my relationship with my husband I was very insecure; which naturally affected how I loved him and how I thought he should love me. Nothing he did was ever really enough to persuade me that he loved me. And I think my love for him was some possessive clutchy type of experience for him. Years passed however and we made it out of our twenties, both of us grew together (not as one, but alongside) and I believe we've both changed, matured. I love him without ties, without requiring reciprocation. It's all good. x Oh and THANKS for the tip on the book "It's So Amazing", I'm going to order it.I felt so much relief when you shared your experience as I think our boys are around the same age....

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  4. This is a beautiful post. Your description of August really took me to another place. I personally think we should all be able to love each other without expecting something in return. I try to love others even if I know that someone may not offer that love to me. I was given love and I believe that I am to give that love to others. I do think that there are different types of love and some of those do have strings attached to them, but in the end I think we are all to love one another even if some might be too scared to love us back. I am glad that you are having a great time on your trip! Enjoy the rest of your time there :)

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  5. Hi Sadie! I'm Maralah, loving your blog :)

    From the little that I know (though always learning) about this topic, I'd say the scary thing is how certain it is that a person will change and evolve over time. It seems a terrible risk to commit to someone, and to let them commit to you, when you know both of you will grow (or in some cases, regress), but you don't know if you will grow together and in the same direction. If you tie yourselves together and then begin to diverge things might start snapping all over the place, so it often seems safer to stay unattached.

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  6. sadie, your words and your photos are pure poetry. so in love.
    xx

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  7. such a great quote!! yeah, love love love! I think about it a lot... you are so close! only a state away! hop on up to seattle, I'll take you and your traveling band in! xo m

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  8. I've been working to do that very same thing, to not bring my laptop when I go adventuring/vacationing. The only time I make an exception is if I'm going to write and then I bring it. :)

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  9. bang on with your description of august! around here, that fine wire has been tripped, and now you really can smell fall and the leaves are starting to go from the trees...

    in regards to love...there are often strings attached to giving, but i don't know that it's the threat of conditionality that causes someone to shrink back. i think it's more the past experiences of just what it meant to accept love...from a parent who was suffocating or abusive, or any unhealthy relationship where love was used to punish or control. it's ultimately a threat to personal freedom...if i accept your love, i don't get to be myself, and you might try to hurt me if don't play by your rules. how many of us experienced truly unconditional love from our families? not too many, i don't think. xo

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  10. been having trouble leaving comments and mine just disappeared, so here it is again, sorry if it posts twice...

    bang on with your description of august! around here, that fine wire has been tripped, and now you really can smell fall and the leaves are starting to go from the trees...

    in regards to love...there are often strings attached to giving, but i don't know that it's the threat of conditionality that causes someone to shrink back. i think it's more the past experiences of just what it meant to accept love...from a parent who was suffocating or abusive, or any unhealthy relationship where love was used to punish or control. it's ultimately a threat to personal freedom...if i accept your love, i don't get to be myself, and you might try to hurt me if don't play by your rules. how many of us experienced truly unconditional love from our families? not too many, i don't think. xo

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  11. <3 <3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaRQV9vcIRs

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  12. I know I'm months behind here commenting on this, but I've been thinking a lot about this in my own life recently. How security is just an illusion. How we can never hold a thing we "love." How if I love someone once it means I will always love them, it's just that the form of the relationship has changed. You can ramble over to my blog and read more about my epic summer romance which has dissolved in one sense, but b/c we still love each other is still very much the same. Sigh... it doesn't make the pain in the heart that much less though does it? I appreciate any one who's able to see this.

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Thank you for commenting! Even if I don't reply, I read and appreciate every single one of you. xo